25 People You Will See At The Gym
But probably wish you didn’t!
These are our top 25 people you will encounter at the gym, and I don’t mean top as in good! But at MuscleSherpa.com, as long as you are in the gym busting your ass off, you’re part of the gym family!
1. The Slob
This is the kid that never cleaned up after himself. More than likely his house is still a mess with pizza boxes and empty beer cans everywhere. Just like at home, when he leaves a bench at the gym, he leaves all his weights on and NEVER wipes down his machine, let alone even bothers to bring a towel. This is the person that you end up cleaning up after, just like his parents or maid did when he was growing up! In other words a LAZY @SSHOLE!
This gym goer often comes in groups of little buddies. They hang around a bench press station and chat about what happened over the weekend for at least 20 minutes, or talk about the latest Kardashian news. Even when they show up alone, they always have something to say right when you are in the middle of a set. I would be shocked if they managed to get in a full 3 sets during their entire “workout” if you can even call it that. Then, of course, they go off to work or school and tell everyone how sore they are from hitting the gym.
3. Attention Whore
For this one, I am referring to the male version. The one that needs to ensure you know just how much he is lifting. He will wait until you are done your set to start his, just so that you can admire his lifts. Then when he’s done, he will use more force than when he actually did the lift to throw the weights as hard as he can. Even on machines with a pulley, he somehow finds a way to slam the stack down loudly than before walking away you can catch him moving the pin to a heavier weight so it looks like he was lifting more than he really was. You don’t have to look hard for this guy, you will hear him! He is the reason for all the damaged machines and bent bars. He is annoying!
4. The Unofficial Owner
Every gym has one of these at any hour of the day! Often referred to as a hoarder, he treats the gym like it is his own personal home gym. He will set up on 3 machines, then go and use dumbbells. And you better not even attempt to use a machine or station that he is “using” or he will quickly come over to let you know “Yo bro, I’m using that!”. These are the people that when you walk into the gym and see them you say to yourself “f**k he’s here, guess I have to change my routine today!”. The only pro is that you learn pretty fast how to adapt your training and learn a lot of new exercises from the lack of gym equipment available.
5. The Mayor
Of course, you know this guy, how couldn’t you? He either talks to everyone when he walks in or gives them a “cool” fist bump or high five. He spends more time walking around the gym to shake everyone’s hand then he does working out. If you don’t know him, you soon will as he will introduce himself while you are mid-set and always says “let me know if you need a spot”. This person isn’t one of the more annoying, after all, they are usually friendly, just don’t engage in conversation or you quickly become part of the “Chatterbox” people as he always has advice or something to talk about.
Have you ever heard the story that everyone has a twin on the other side of the world? Well in the gym world you do too, except he is at your gym and not a myth or legend. This guy doesn’t look like you but he sure as hell seems to want to be like you. He will literally copy you step by step as if he is a sneaky ninja and you will never notice. When you finish bench, he jumps on a bench and does the same weight for the same reps, while doing so he watches your next move and pounces when you have finished that station. He is always one step behind you, doing exactly what you do. Some may find this annoying, I tend to find this flattering! Nobody would copy someone that didn’t look half decent so take it as a compliment. This can even be motivating as you try to lift as heavy as you can to see if he can copy you… so, in turn, you are motivated by him copying and he is motivated by trying to copy. It’s the circle of gym twin life!
7. Selfie Addict
In the past, I would have directed this one mostly to the ladies, but with social media nowadays, this is a joint effort of gym fail… does make for great Instagram photos!
These people show up to the gym in designer gym wear, gel-styled hair for the men and makeup as if they were attending a wedding for the ladies. Every single set you will see the guy bicep posing with iPhone in hand or the ladies doing the sideways “I squat” leg pose showing off their “assets”. They spend every resting moment posing and taking selfies… the sad thing is, these gym goers are usually in decent shape and have huge Instagram followings.
8. Sh*tty Trainer
You can usually spot or hear these guys pretty easy. You will see them yelling at a newbie as if they were in the military and he forgot to make his bed. They often give terrible advice, have no idea of proper form and push newcomers into doing exercises they have no right in even attempting with the amount of weight they start them with. 95% of the time, you will never see that newcomer again, these sh*tty trainers literally scare them to never come back, and the only goal that was accomplished was the trainer pumping up his ego a little more. For the newcomer, probably a sore back from his 300lb first attempt at a squat ever fail.
9. Crossfit Champion
Clear some space, the Crossfit champion has arrived! These guys usually work in the yoga area as most normal gyms don’t have a CrossFit section, that’s what Crossfit gyms are for! You will find them stacking all the plates so they can show their amazing jump vertical. Then find them doing monkey like pull-ups where they swing wildly and call it a rep, also called kipping. Often doing a lot of powerlifting styled exercises but all with huge amounts of momentum and a total lack of care for form, unless there is a tire nearby as they love flipping those! Or you won’t see them at all behind that massive cloud of chalk dust they keep applying to their hands and clapping all over the damn place! Crossfitters, please stick to a Crossfit gym where you belong.
10. Sir Sweats A lot
Hey somebody spilled their wat….. oh, sorry, nevermind! These sweaty beasts will literally leave pools of sweat on the machines, benches, ground, pretty much everywhere they go. If you look close enough, you can actually track their entire workout as they leave a drip trail from one station to the next. This is not someone you want to work in with, and definitely not someone you want to claim “next” to the station they are at. What I can say is, good for you sweaty people, at least you are putting in a solid effort! Just wipe down the damn area when you are done please!
11. Juice Monster
Every gym has them, every guy envies them. These are the massive beasts that make us all feel small. They literally turn sideways to walk through the door and have veins as thick as a garden snake! Yet, they tend to lift the same if not less than you at half their size. I know, its not all about how much you can lift, its just damn frustrating that I can’t look like that without some “help”… Jealous much? Maybe a little. These guys, as much as they may look like a big angry beast, I often find them to be the least annoying. They do this probably every day for hours a day, they don’t have time to bullshit, they don’t hog multiple machines and overall they tend to have good gym etiquette with picking up after themselves and even helping with a spot if needed. As intimidating as they may seem, the last thing these guys (or girls, don’t forget the monster ladies) care about is what you are doing, they are too damn focused on what they are doing to even know you exist, so don’t worry about these monsters! Or should I say, gentle giants? Maybe that’s pushing it, please don’t hurt me!
The newbie, we were all there at one time. They walk in and head straight to the water cooler, or as I call it, their safe place. You can see the nervousness in their face as they pace around the gym and attempt a set here and there on the machines. They almost never touch the free weights for a lack of confidence and you will see them having multiple nervous yawns while walking back and forth to the water cooler. You would think they drink about 6 bottles of water by the number of times they visit the water cooler/fountain… or is that dry mouth from being so nervous? Either way, to all you other gym goers, don’t be d*cks to these guys, give them a nod, make them feel comfortable. Remember when you started, we were all that guy!
13. Happy Baby
This isn’t a poke at Yoga enthusiasts, this is for that guy or girl that sits in the yoga/warmup section literally laying down for 10 minutes at a time. They might do a couple situps by cranking on their neck, then back to laying down. Maybe a few stretches, then back to laying down. This is NOT a warm up people, this is a waste of time. After about 30-40 minutes of this, they leave… WTF! Why do you even come to the gym? Can’t you do that at home? Some people I will just never understand, this is definitely one of my top WTF gym situations.
14. Imaginary Monster
We talked about the Juice monster, but what about the imaginary monster? These are the guys that walk around somewhere in the weight range of 150lbs or less, but they must have some of the most amazing, largest lats I have never seen. Maybe they are tucked into that shirt somehow, or maybe they are wearing a waist trainer to keep them from bursting out and causing all kinds of jealousy. These guys walk around like they are carrying two water jugs under each arm. This ladies and gentlemen, is also called ILS, or Invisible Lat Syndrome. An often occurrence when newbies pass that “new” stage, or anywhere from 3-4 months and put on about 5-10lbs. In some people, this triggers ILS, where the person diagnosed just cannot put their arms down for the fear of crushing their new humongous lats.
To all you sufferers, let’s hope one day they find a cure.
15. The Failed Inventor
Have you ever walked into a gym and wonder, what does that machine do and how do I use it. Most people would either watch someone else or look at the little diagram on the machine or here is a crazy idea, google it! Not these people, in their mind machines, were intended for multiple things, not just one! They will use the cable crossover for weighted shadow boxing, prepping for the next Rocky movie perhaps? Leg curl machine, push, bicep curls for them! Leg press? Heck no, that’s a squat machine for short people! These guys are a liability, an accident waiting to happen. Message to newbies, DO NOT COPY THESE GUYS!
16. Old School
They have been lifting before you could walk! You will find them in the free weights area or the squat rack, not because they prefer it, but they have no idea what all these fancy machines are and couldn’t give 2 sh*ts about them. They look like smaller powerlifters and put you to shame with the weight they push and always with almost perfect form! They are great people to model your form after as they have literally been doing squats for 30 years. They often wear old school sweat suits and stick to themselves and work their @ss off. They are not there for show, to chat or to f*ck around. Old School gym goers, we salute you!
17. Fitness Model
These are the girls that lift weights and look damn good doing it. Often wearing limited clothing, or apparel so tight you may as well be naked… I am not complaining! They earned the right to wear these clothes as they even put some men to shame with their physiques. Too many women SHOULD NOT be wearing yoga pants.
Fitness models do intense lifting routines and for some reason, you will always see women lifters using perfect form. They don’t tend to have the ego of men to push the heaviest weights, they lift proper, look damn good and give all the guys something to get distracted by. You will know when they are around as there will be a sudden influx of men during that time 😉
18. Cardio Queens
Unlike the fitness models, these girls (and guys) stick to cardio only. They are afraid lifting weights will make them bulky, which is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. They often have zero figure, just 4 sticks swinging on a flat torso. Ladies, this is NOT a sexy look! Please for the love of all gym gods, lift a weight, use a machine, do anything besides cardio only. You literally start to look like a frail grandma with no wrinkles, is that the body shape you are after?
19. The Couple
Those who workout together stay together… or just annoy everyone else!
The couple I am talking about is not the rare couple that comes in and hits the weights separately, basically just sharing a ride. This is the couple that comes together, works out together (if you can call it that) and doesn’t shut the F**k up! They talk about their friends while one is using a machine, they talk about family, they argue, they just do not shut up. Then they brag to each other about what they lifted as if they deserve something from the other person. Lets not also forget the public displays of affection! Good job honey “smooch!”… FML! Very annoying, please stay home or come separately for the sake of the rest of us.
Guys and girls are guilty of this. There are 2 extremes of being a nudist, one is in the gym, taking your shirts off to pose for photos or showing up in a stringer 3 times too large so that your entire chest is hanging out. May as well not have bothered wearing a shirt. I’m talking about guys here or there would be no issue of course.
For the ladies, similar but usually wearing booty shorts and a sports bra and then get pissed when any guy gets caught peaking during your squat.
The second extreme is the locker room nudist, mostly on the guys’ side. They like to hang around and chat while literally “hanging around”. I have no idea why they like to do this, you will often catch the older guys doing this in the locker room for long periods of time. Heck, they shower, shave, use the bathroom, call their wife, do their taxes… not a care in the world when over 30 guys are in and out of the change room during their public display and meanwhile their dingdong has been swaying about touching every surface in sight.
Girls, I am not sure if they do the same but I am always open to volunteering for a field study… strictly to add to the article of course 😉
The powerlifter. Similar to the Juice Monster, these guys are usually beasts in size but built differently. If you can imagine a lumberjack that weighs upwards of 300lbs of muscle with a gut that puts a 9-month pregnant lady to shame. They eat, lift, drink and just are BIG! They will take 20 minutes just to set up for a squat as they need to collect every plate in the room to even do their warmup. They look like they eat the smaller guys at the gym and can out lift everyone there combined. They make for good friends when you get in a bar fight or for simpler things like if your car dies as they can push you home with ease. Do not get in their way, you do not know if they are hungry and they just may have forgotten their post workout shake!. Maybe this is where all the newbies disappear too!
This is for all the ladies, you know exactly who the creep is. He is the guy watching you in the mirror, he is the guy watching you squat. He tries to talk to you even after you said you have a boyfriend. He asks if you need help or a spot, even though it seems like he doesn’t even workout while he is there. This is the guy you must not make eye contact with or he might enslave your soul! Ladies watch for these guys, they are often right behind you utilizing any machine or station that has a clear field of vision of your yoga pants.
23. Know It All
Hey, you should work on your squat form. Hey, you should drink your aminos during, not after. Hey, you should only lift to 8 reps, not 10… HEY SHUT THE F*CK UP! Well, at least that’s what you want to say. These guys will often have something to correct you on and 90% of the time the people they are correcting look more in shape and can lift way more. They are the equivalent of an at home WebMD doctor. They study multiple things online then come to the gym to preach their knowledge. Never, ever ask them for advice or you will be getting advice for the rest of your gym life. You have to let them off gently as they like to argue studies too, the best option is headphones! Tune them out, literally.
24. Huff n Puff
Another person that headphones come into play. This is the grunters, the yellers the insanely loud air breathers. They like to yell before they even start lifting as if some sort of gym mating call. Not sure if they learned this from the Karate kid when he screams to punch, maybe the same theory applies to their screaming bicep curls in the squat rack.
You will also get the air breathers. These guys take proper breathing techniques to a whole new level. From across the room, you will think someone is running a hydraulic press! Very annoying, very distracting, very much a gym goer you hope you don’t have to deal with.
25. The “I Showed Up” Guy/Girl
Last but not least, the “I showed up” guy or girl. They come to the gym, down their pre-workout, change into gym clothes and get right to their workout. Not even 20 minutes in, they are back in the change room, packed up and on their way out the door before you even finished your warmup! These are the people that go home and wonder why the gym isn’t paying off and tell everyone they go to the gym all the time. These are the people that fall for the Dr. Ho magic abs stimulator or the loose 50lbs in one-week magic pills. These people you won’t even see because they are in and out so fast you may have missed them while hanging around naked in the bathroom. I’m talking to you nudist weirdos!
Did I miss anyone, post in the comments the gym types you have to deal with?